Red Cardinal

I was very sad when you left, Sister. I was sad thinking of everything I must do and everything I haven't done... and I rushed to get ready for church and was sad that I haven't practiced much and knew I wouldn't sound very good in mass today... and then I thought, I'm going to meet a new priest today, and a little eddy of calm swirled in with that thought.

I started singing as I went through the house, and I set down the rocks I was carrying--

That's something I forgot to mention when I told you about my recent religious experiences; the rocks. When I'm trudging along on earth alone, all my burdens are heavy rocks--thoughts, worries, feelings, physical objects, other people's words and actions, time, calendars, pains--all rocks that I carry in my arms. That's what weighs me down and makes me dread movement, carrying all those rocks.

But when I rely on God, and really understand what that means (which is rare and fleeting, but worth striving for), the rocks are transformed into warm clouds. I know I say "warm clouds" a lot, but it's the only way I can describe it. Some of the rocks stay rocks and simply fall back onto earth; I have a theory that those are the things I'm not required to carry, but picked up anyway, and the clouds are the 'burdens' that I'm supposed to bear, that are leading me to my purpose. Without God they're all just heavy rocks with grainy grey surfaces that offer no insight, no way to tell which ones I should leave be and which ones are actually clouds...

But I digress.

I set down some of the rocks and felt the little eddy of calm growing as I got myself ready, thinking, I'm going to meet a new priest today.

When I stepped outside, I saw the red flash of a cardinal. I think cardinals are very good luck.

We arrived at church and I had enough time to go over music with Nancy. There was a nice number of people there, enough so that none of the rows really seemed to feel neglected.

Our new priest is from India, and his name is Father Sousse. I have no idea if I'm spelling his name right, but he told us that it translates to Joseph. He has a beautiful accent. He's been a priest for 29 years this May, and spoke two languages when he lived in India. It was wonderful to meet him.

The music wasn't bad, considering my progressively worsening tone, and really everything went well. I think that was a rock I didn't need to carry.

I must be a soldier today, but that's fine. Que será. I've prioritized my school things by: Mrs. Bunch, because she deserves the effort, Mrs. Falls, because she scares me the most, and Mr. Knutson, because he deserves the effort, too. And Collagens, I should really do that today, too; it only gets placed so low on the list because Texas Tech won't eat me (and Mrs. Falls will) or sigh and look terribly dejected (and Mr.s. Knunch will) if I don't get everything done by tomorrow. And the deadline isn't until the end of the semester.

But still. I know. It is very important. I'll still check my Gordon status and 'review' my financial aid stuff today.